During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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