I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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