Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
