Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
