God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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