She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
