How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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