I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
