It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
