Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Sober January is a disaster.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
