she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
