Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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