I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So many bounce houses so little time
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
