I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
