you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
