meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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