what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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