Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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