no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
