We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize