i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
