I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
