is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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