If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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