I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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