My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
