I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
