Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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