If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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