He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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