I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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