Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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