So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
