The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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