How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
