i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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