we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
