My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
