you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
