he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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