I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
