At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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