a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
