I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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