I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
