also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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