I hate your face
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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