Well douche your snatch and let's go!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
