She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
