brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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