I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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