people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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