His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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