Midget sex pt 2 tonight
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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