Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You dont lie about slip and slides
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
