I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize