I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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