We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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