Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
