do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
