you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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