okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
